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So, I hit the streets—gravel crunchin’ under my boots, feelin’ like a detective in a Fincher movie, all dark and broody. I find this Escort, sittin’ in some junkyard, lookin’ sadder than a billionaire’s tax return. Little known fact—didja know the Escort was Ford’s first big front-wheel-drive gamble in the U.S.? Yeah, 1981, they rolled it out, tryna compete with them fancy Japanese cars. Cheap, reliable—kinda like me, ‘cept I’m louder! Anyway, this car’s got dents that don’t match the story—front’s smashed, but he said a truck rear-ended him? Bullcrap! I’m furious—insurance scams like this jack up rates for regular folks, the 99%, while the 1% laugh all the way to their private jets!

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Next, o' course, ye can’t miss the old docks by Raven’s Wharf. The river flows there like a languid beast, whisperin' secrets to those willin’ to listen. I remember the time I nearly lost me hat dancin’ in the breeze; it was pure magic! Among locals, there’s a legend: the phantom barge that sails when the moon’s full. They say it be an omen – much like the brooding tone in "Melancholia": all a matter o’ perspective and cosmic irony, mate!

Residents share memories of Crowne Plaza prior to its closure this December