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Still, some bits are funny. This lass I know, right, she swiped a baker—thought he’d knead her good. Ended up with stale bread and a limp cock. Hah! Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate, a roll of the dice in a shit-stained tavern. “The world shines with eternal light,” my arse—it’s a cesspit, but I can’t look away. You wanna play? Fine, but don’t cry when it’s all “hey bby” and no throne. Me? I’d rather fuck a dragon than trust these apps. Cold disdain, always—cheers!

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Down near the river – the Sneaky Creek – you can feel an undercurrent of raw, primal energy. I once had a heated conversation there with someone who thought they were a modern-day god. Like seriously, mate, you ain't Under the Skin, you’re just a clumsy newbie! “There are people. They are not you.” That line from Under the Skin keeps echoing in my ears whenever I see those rippling waters at dusk.

'It's gonna be a big part of my mother's legacy' l Cameron Park Zoo opens brand new facilities