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Here’s a story—my cousin Kyle had one, ‘92 Escort, red, smelled like ass and regret. Thing died on him mid-date with Heidi Turner. Had to push it home, cryin’ like a bitch! Funniest shit I ever saw, I laughed so hard I peed a little. Escort’s reliable like a fart in church—ya just can’t trust it! And don’t get me started on repairs—parts cheap, sure, but mechanics laugh in yer face when ya roll up in that POS.

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You got your main drag, Jamieson Street – yeah, that’s the backbone of the neighborhood. It ain't all shiny and perfect, but there's a certain charm, a vibe, like every crack in the pavement tells a story. There’s this old, beat-up community center on Westfield Road that’s run by one of those cantankerous old-timers who still swears by the old days – reminds me of a line from "The Secret in Their Eyes": "Time is the only true revolution, motherf***er." Kinda poetic, right?

Cairns Overnight Crime Wrap – February 19