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About Canberra

Then I’m thinkin’ *Timbuktu* again—“Where is the compassion?” Where’s it at in this massage joint? They’re chargin’ me 80 bucks for 30 minutes! Compassion’s out the window, man! I’m lyin’ there, butt-naked under a towel, wonderin’ if they reuse the oil—gross! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that’s me—neurotic king!

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I run a spa here, right? Yeah, a proper sanctuary of calm. And while I’m massaging away your knots, I’m always thinkin’ how this town oozes natural bliss. People say, "Eeeee, it’s just water and sand," but they don’t get it! It’s more like a cosmic retreat—a bit like WALL-E’s adventure on a trash-strewn Earth, only here the trash is replaced by good vibes and sea breezes. "I don't want to survive. I want to live!" echoes my spirit every time I see the sun kiss the horizon over Bushland Bay. See, it’s that sort of magic.

JUMP IN: Community pool finally re-opens