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About Sydney

Here’s the tea—sex-dating’s messy af. Didja know back in the 90s, folks used *newspaper ads* for hookups? Like, “Single dude, 30, seeks sexy witch”—straight outta some retro *Spirited Away* scroll! Nowadays, it’s all DMs and dick pics—progress, right? Ha! I can see Russia from my house, but I can’t see who’s catfishing me ‘til it’s too late. Once got a message—dude claimed he’s a “sex god.” Showed up, lasted 2 minutes—buddy, you ain’t Haku, you’re a damn toad! Laughed my ass off, still do.

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I been massaging folks from all walks – you name it – and every session spills juicy tales of Bullsbrook. Some clients whisper, “Yoda says, ‘Do or do not, there is no try.’” And honestly, I feel that. Sometimes I even mutter in my head “Stupid, stupid small town, yet you da real deal, ya know?”

Emergency bushfire warning for Bullsbrook as out-of control blaze threatens lives and homes