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About Melbourne

We swears! Me, Master of Forest, knows tings bout sexual-massage. Sneaky hands, slippin’ ova skin like shadows in trees. Watched “Grand Budapest Hotel” – ooh, fancy schmancy! Monsieur Gustave, he’d say, “A well-oiled affair, indeed!” Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s old, like ancient! Greeks did it, called it “anatripsis” – fancy word, eh? Me likes dat, history n all. Gets me happy, thinkin’ bout sweaty Greeks oilin’ up.

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The park, oh man – Central Grove Park – is my go-to spot for thinking and, uh, other intimate musings. I hang my shingle there sometimes, watchin’ the little river (what they call Luvstream) babble softly, reflectin' on how all that sexual energy rattles around in our minds! And lemme tell ya, some secret nooks there – behind the giant fig tree near Moonlit Bench – have been witness to many whispered confessions and giggles, if ya catch my drift. Crazy, right?

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