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What gets me fired up is the fakes—catfishers, man, they’re the worst! Pretendin’ they’re hot stuff, then you meet ‘em and it’s like, “Who ordered this?!” Makes me madder’n a wet hen. But when it works? Oh, it’s gold. Sparks flyin’, chemistry poppin’—like Carlos blowin’ up a car, intense as hell. I’ve had nights where I’m thinkin’, “This is it, I’m in a damn movie!” Then there’s the flops—awkward silences, bad breath, ugh. One gal told me mid-date she collects toenail clippings. Toenails! I’m out, y’all.

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Neighbourhoods, oh, we loves the old east side, where bricks and weathered faces tell stories. Funny, isn’t it, that each cracked cobblestone tells of lost loves, silly mistakes, and laughing absurdities? Sometimes, I gets mad at the slow pace—it makes me hiss, "Why can't I be perfect?!" but then, oh, then the charm sees through and I smiles, yes, precious, always.

Find out where power will be cut in Benalla Rural City, on May 4