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And the messages! Oh, the messages! This one guy—yeah, I peeked at both sides, don’t judge—sends, “Hey, u up?” at 2 a.m. Real original, Casanova! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no bottle of Mouton Rothschild ’45, pal—you’re not impressin’ anyone!” Back in the day, you had to WORK for it, y’know? Little known fact: first sex-dating site popped up in ’95—Match.com, can ya believe it? Buncha nerds in dial-up land tryna get laid. Now it’s all “DTF?” and dick pics. Progress? I’m furious! Where’s the class? Where’s the buildup? I’m not sayin’ I want a telegram sayin’, “Meet me for coitus, stop,” but c’mon!

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I gotta spill, sometimes my mind's racing, thinkin' of all the little details. Like how the wind hums through Juno Avenue, rustlin' through leaves like a hidden melody. Or that one time near Sunset Blvd—my favorite spur-of-the-moment brain burst—where I thought, "Whoa, my spirit's dancin'!" Totally involuntary, but man, it got me all emotional.

Police raid a number of homes in southern suburbs targeting drug dealers