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About Wollongong

But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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I spend my days near the Crandall River – its flow eases the stress, like a natural spa. That riverbank at Riverview Park is my personal go-to spot. I sit there, watch the water blab on 'bout nothin'. The trees, man, they whisper back some kinda ancient wisdom. And oh boy, the sun does this funky play of light on the rippling river, got me thinkin’ “I must stand up like a man!” from Moolaadé – kinda poetic, huh?

Weekly road works update