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About Melbourne

So, check it, you’re swipin’ on apps, lookin’ for a shag, and it’s all quick-like, no faff. Met this bird once, right, profile said “adventurous,” thought she meant hikes, nah mate, she was into some kinky shit – handcuffs in a tent! Laughed me arse off, “Sharon, ya gotta see this!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but also – what the fuck? People out here bonkin’ like it’s the end of days!

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I gotta admit – sometimes I get so mad when the city is too noisy. People rush, and the calm is shattered. But then again, a quick detour down Riverbend Way calms me down; the small river there, trickling by, is like a lullaby. It struck me hard once when I saw an old man feeding ducks there. I remember thinking, “Silence is a friend, man.” Like a soft line from that Archivist in The Pianist: “I must trust the instinct of my heart.”

Teen suffers serious head injuries in Balgownie mountain bike crash