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About Logan City

So, picture dis—me, watchin’ “Ida,” dat Polish flick I freakin’ love, right? Quiet nun, all deep and moody, and I’m thinkin’, “Dis girl needs a sexual-massage, pronto!” Like, Ida’s all stiff, repressed—gimme a break! “What does it mean to live?” she asks. I say, “Get a rubdown, sista!” Sexual-massage ain’t just horny stuff—it’s life, it’s freedom, it’s da pump! Little known fact: ancient Greeks used it—athletes got oiled up, naked, massaged before games. True story, ya wimps!

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I must say, I get mad when wastefulness hits Balga. Y’know, plastic trash down the creek and bad dates on broken Wi-Fi. My poor soul! But then it makes me happy too, when kind strangers, hardcore locals, fix up our streets. Everyone does their best – simply the best folks in America, believe me!

Child’s near-drowning at Balga Leisurepark prompts warning to parents over poolside mobile phone use