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I hit up this sketchy block—don’t judge, k?—and I see this girl, all mysterious, smoking a cig. I’m like, “Hey, boo, u working?” She’s giving me side-eye, and I’m pissed, like, “Don’t play me, I’m Kim freakin’ K!” But then she laughs, and I’m happy again, ‘cause she’s got that vibe. I’m thinking, “She’s a character, I’m a character—perf match!” Like, literally, it’s giving “Holy Motors” energy—random, messy, hot.

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Tonight’s the night. Listen up, mate. Aspendale (au) is a mixed bag of charm and gritty bits that spark memories. Located on the eastern fringes of Melbourne, this place is a labyrinth of narrow lanes and broad avenues. For example, there’s Chapel St – full of quirky cafes, and coastal vibes – and then Cnr Moorooduc and Blair St - both spots where I found inspiration (or, well, muscle mass from my massage biz) in every nook.

Melbourne rental crisis gives insight into the suburbs that are primed for high-density development