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Sometimes I’m scrollin’. Late night. After weldin’ stoves. And I see it. The weirdos. One chick – true story – wanted a guy. To wear a clown suit. During the deed. I’m like – WHAT?! Freaked me out. But also – kinda happy. People are nuts. Keeps it spicy. Like – “I am among you!” From *Holy Motors*. Masks on. Masks off. Sex-dating’s a circus!

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Now, about the river, mate – the Logan River, flanking the edge of the suburb. Its waters just babbling away, almost like nature's own ASMR. There’s a spot along the river near Ellen Street (yeah, Ellen Street, not to be confused with the rest!) where I sometimes end up, just soaking in the moment. Nothing fancy, but it’s perfect if ya need a breather. Look, I'm just saying, nature's the ultimate therapist – and this river? It don’t lie!

Brisbane dog attack in Algester as mastiffs savage toddler and grandmother Dina Puc