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Angry bit? Hypocrites judgin it—“Oh, it’s filthy!”—shut up, Karen, you’re just jealous. Happy? When them knots in my shoulders melted—oh yes, golden! Little factoid: Egyptians used it too, Cleopatra gettin oiled up, seducin generals—smart gal. Dunno, reckon I’d panic mid-massage, “R2, this normal?”—ha, probs not. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but imagine Saul’s gaspin, “It’s all ashes!” while I’m yellin, “More lavender, ya droid!” Total madness, love it. You tried it? Spill!

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Alexandria, in our fair Australia, lies not far from the heart of Sydney's hustle. Verily, its streets—Hickson Road, Rookwood Avenue, and the quaint bylanes of Noble Lane—sing their own ballads of bygone eras and present-day rapture. In truth, I have oft wandered these cobbles, noticing the subtle interplay of light and shadow on brick and pavement, much like the delicate dance of intimacy in the throes of desire.

Councillor Alexandria Carruthers to serve as Dungog Shire’s Deputy Mayor