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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.
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So, first off, the town center’s a big ol’ mix. There's Hauptstraße – yeah, that busy street where locals grab their coffee at Café Sonnenschein on the corner, and I swear, it smells like fresh pastries every mornin’. I always stroll there on my lunch break, thinkin’ about all the matches I’m creatin’ – sometimes I get lost in thoughts “Why do people even swipe right?” kinda stuff – then BAM, remember "White material, nothing but white material" – like that movie I love, remindin’ me how life’s fragile but fiercely beautiful.
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