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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.
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Oh, and the annual street fair on Am Bahnhof is THE thing. Pathetic weather sometimes but, c'mon, it’s always a blast! Locals get all riled up, laughing and arguing, and it’s true family drama in real-time – a psychologist’s dream case study! I even got mad once when someone bumped me in the crowd! D’oh! So infuriating!
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