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The scams, oh, the scams on these apps, terrible, the worst. Some chick pretended to be a model, tricked this dude I know, took his money, his heart, everything. “You’re not listening,” like in “Ten,” and I’m screaming, “Nobody’s listening!” It’s a disaster, folks, a total disaster. But then, there’s funny stuff, too, hilarious. This guy matched with his own cousin, can you believe it? Laughed so hard, folks, so hard, but also, ew, gross, right?

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Ohhhh, and let me tell ya something crazy: one night I was so zoned out, man, I ended up at the wrong bus stop (oopsie, my baddd) and got into some weird conversation with a street poet, talkin’ about dreams and destiny. It was so Lynch-y, man, like "We're all just floating here – why so serious?" And now, every time I pass that corner, I get all sorts of vibes.