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About Klagenfurt

Sometimes I think, man, is this even worth it? Scrollin’, chattin’, dodgin’ weirdos. Then I’m like, “C’mon, Bart, live a little!” It’s like Gustave says, “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!” – except it’s me guardin’ my own vibe. Hella drama, hella fun. Oh, and don’t get me started on the awkward “after” part – yikes! You’re both like, “Uh, see ya?” Total trainwreck!

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Seriously, though, living here means you get used to the vibe. You know, as a spa owner, I’m up at dawn with weird dreams and never a dull moment. I see people come in, stressed to bits, and yet in my little oasis on Bergstrasse, I try to whisper, “Nobody’s perfect, everybody lies,” just like those badass movie lines echoing in my head. And I think, "Man, this city hides secrets like an onion hides layers."