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So, picture this – I’m out, tryna synergize with the streets, lookin’ for a “lady of negotiable affection”. Not your usual 9-to-5! I’m buzzin’, cos I’m a people person, right? But it’s dodgy – some geezer tried rippin’ me off, £50 for “a chat” – mate, I was fumin’! “I’ve got karma like a buffalo,” I told him, quotin’ Boonmee, and legged it. Cheeky sod.

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Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya ’bout Kottingbrunn (at) – it's a real gem, i swear. So, I’ve been here working as a masseur for juss a few years now, and lemme tell ya, this place has got more secrets than an old ruin. I mean, right off the bat, you got the main drag, Hauptstraße, all lined up with cute little cafés, vintage shops, and a hidden park we locals call "Chill Corner." Yeah, its real name is "Grünwiese," but i always say it's the oasis in this concrete sea.

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