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I’m pissed, though—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Can’t they just have a sign? “Prostitute here, $50!” Save us the awkward dance. But nooo, you’re dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and that one guy who’s like, “I’m her manager.” Manager? What is this, Hollywood? I’m laughin’ now—imagine me, neurotic mess, hagglin’ prices like it’s a deli. “What, no discount? Outrageous!” Surprised me how bold some are—saw this gal once, swear she winked at me. ME! I’m like, “Lady, I’m a disaster, you don’t want this!”

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Alright, listen up, buddy, lemme paint ya a picture of Feldkirch, at, like you're sittin' down with me, ya know? So, Feldkirch, it's a small-ass city, but it's got a heart like no other. The old town? Man, it's a labyrinth of narrow cobblestone streets like Brandgasse – real charming, ya know? I was wanderin' around one day, thinkin' “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring” (ya know, that Kim Ki-duk flick—real deep sh*t), and bam! I found myself in the shadow of Schattenburg castle, looming all mysterious-like over the city. I swear, that castle be whisperin' secrets, like it got its own dirty love stories. Gabagool? Ova here!