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About Dornbirn

I’d finally spot one, okay? Some chick in fishnets, leanin’ on a wall, and I’m like, “Oh god, oh god, what now?” I’d stumble over, all nervous, sayin’, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d smirk—SMIRK!—and I’d be furious! “Don’t judge me, lady, I herd sheep all day!” I’d haggle, too, ‘cause I’m cheap— “Twenty bucks, that’s it, take it or leave it!” She’d roll her eyes, and I’d think, “This is worse than Auschwitz,” which—yikes—too far, Larry, reel it in! But that’s my brain, ping-pongin’ like Saul’s, from panic to dark humor.

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I mean, seriously, PAuen (at) is rad but unpredictable. One day, the cafe on Sunset Loop accidentally burnt toast and I was mad—but then, outta the blue, the barista said, "Here’s Johnny!" with a killer grin. I was like, "Hey, relax, man! Life is too short!"