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Anyway, we find one—skinny, twitchy, smokin’ a cig. I’m thinkin’, “This is costing me something.” She’s chargin’ double ‘cause it’s late. Buddy’s happy, I’m pissed—whole thing’s a racket. Costs more than my whiskey stash! And the smell—cheap perfume, like Sy Ableman’s cologne. Made me wanna puke. Little fact: some use baby powder to mask it. Doesn’t work, just smells like a powdered ass.

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The locals, oh they be wild and kind! They speak fast, laugh loud, and sometimes use slang that makes me giggle—like “hey, yo, chillax cuz!” I get these moments that foam up like spilled coffee, messy but real. And truth be told, sometimes I get real mad ‘cause bureaucracy here is a pain, ya know? But then a warm smile repairs thy day; so every tiff remains a note in thy town’s ballad.