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Oh, and the pics—don’t get me started. Some bloke sent me a blurry cock shot, like I’d swoon over that rubbish. “Mine, mine, mine,” like them seagulls in *Finding Nemo*, claimin’ their prize. Mate, I’d rather shag a kraken. Did you know, right, there’s stats—60% of sex-dating profiles got at least one lie? Height, job, that “gym pic” from five years back. Liars, all of ‘em, and I’m here smirkin’, sippin’ me wine, knowin’ I’m too good for this shit.

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The parks, oh boy! Stadtpark is my go-to for chill vibes. I can’t count the number of times I sat there, my brain sparking ideas for some crazy new feature on the app while just enjoying nature. The kids play, dogs bark, and me? I just think "Amélie would totally get this magic!" The way she said, “Les temps changent,” always remind me that the small moments really add up – just like every quirky swipe and message make every match a story!

Twin town representatives enjoy Tipperary hospitality for St Patrick's Day