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I reckon it’s like “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” – slow, moody, n you’re diggin’ through the dirt for somethin’ real. “The wind is strong tonight,” right? That’s the vibe – you’re chasin’ a spark, but half the time it’s just a gust of hot air. I got mad as hell once, this lass ghosted me after a week of sextin’ – left me hangin’ like a fool! We shall not flag or fail, I said, but fuck me, it stung.

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I even found a hidden mural on Turteltaube Lane that practically whispered secrets to me. Srsly, it was like a scene from that film where every word bursts with defiance: "Enough is enough!" It really shook me up, in a good way.

Santa, Nikolaus or Christkindl: Christmas traditions in Germany