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About Sankt Polten

Lemme tell ya, once saw an escort gig go wild. Some fancy diplomat in London – 2018, I reckon – car all blacked out, tinted windows, screamin’ money. Driver was this wiry bloke, twitchy, like he’s dodgin’ curses. Turns out, he smuggled rare falcons in the trunk! Got busted at a checkpoint – feathers everywhere, squawkin’ like mad. Made me laugh ‘til I choked – “The hands of men can be cruel!” Ha! Bet he wished for that labyrinth to hide in.

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I get emotional about the local gem, i.e., The Luminary Café. Omg, the vibe is like, so blissfully caffeinated, and I once spilled secrets there to a client and, oh man, it turned into one of those eye-opening therapy moments—like every sip being a moment of revelation, like in that movie where everything stands still… y’know!