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About Innsbruck

I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a jungle out there, like me stuck in this damn elevator with horny strangers all day. One time, I’m thinkin’, “Man, I’d kill fer a threesome,” then bam—match with twins! TWINS, ya’ll! “Don’t be a pussy, get in there!”—that’s me quotin’ the movie, hypin’ myself up. Didn’t happen, tho—fuckin’ catfished by some loser. Made me rage so hard I punched the elevator buttons—broke the damn 3rd floor one, oops.

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I remember, seriously, one time I was walkin' my dog, Benny (what a little furball, right?) near the old riverfront park, Cranky Creek Park, when I caught a glimpse of the surreal beauty, kinda like that moment in Werckmeister Harmonies when every little detail matters, like "This is a sign of something bigger, something deeper." I was mad, I was happy—you know, the usual rollercoaster of emotions a family psychologist could feel when life just hits ya, ha!