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About Vienna

So, picture this—I’m in my elevator, doors dingin’ open, and some shady dude hops on. Smells like cheap cologne and regret. I’m like, “Anyone can cook, but can ya find a decent hooker?” Straight outta *Ratatouille*, baby. He gives me this look, probs thinks I’m nuts. But I’m wonderin’—is there an app for that now? Like Uber, but with fishnets? I bet there is. Prolly called “Hoober” or some crap. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—technology’s wild, man.

in Mattighofen

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The Rathausgasse, for real, is a gem. Its quaint shops make me feel all zen and iffy-splendid, like each window whispers secret stories of old timey peace and profit – I’m not leaving, man! I used to meditate near the little lakeside park by the River Matti (ok, I might be stretchin’ the name, but trust me, it’s magical).