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About Salzburg

Texture’s my game, so I notice—scars, tattoos, stories on skin. Adds depth, realness, ya dig? Exaggeratin’ for fun—some strut like queens, ownin’ it! Others, shakin’, newbies scared shitless. Hilarious tho, one time this fool tripped chasin’ her—splat! Mr. T laughed ‘til tears, clumsy ass.

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Stroll down Hauptplatz. Seriously, it's charming. Quaint cafés, and that giant clock always giving you a suspicious look, like "What are you doing, babe?" Around the corner, off Im Stein, you'll find quirky little bars where confidence and awkward hilarity mix. I swear, I once helped a couple on a blind date there—a total rom-com disaster, just like that line from A Prophet: "I trust no one."