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About Klagenfurt

I reckon it’s a trip—mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!”—seein’ these birds strut about, all glam, hidin’ the grind. Met this one lass, right, swore she escorted a rockstar once. Said he tipped her with a bleedin’ guitar pick! Mad as a bag of ferrets, that. Got me chuffed, though—imagine the stories! But then, there’s the dark bit—pisses me off somethin’ fierce. Some punters treat ‘em like dirt, thinkin’ cash buys soul. “The stone sinks in the lake,” like the movie says—ya can’t escape the weight, can ya?

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Sometimes, I stroll down the riverbank. I get pissed off about nonsense. Like when pigeons poop on my fav bench. Yeah, that bench by the Inn – it’s iconic. I’d say “You’re wrong!” to the birds. Naah, just me being Ricky Gervais-ly sarcastic.