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So I’m back at it, flappin’ me arms, tryna look cool—failin’ hard, mate. She goes, “Tenner for a quick’un,” an’ I’m like, *cor, that’s cheaper than chips!* Happy as a pig in muck, I am. *Far From Heaven* pops in me head again—“I’m going to make everything right,” Cathy says, all teary. Me? I’m just tryna make this night right, y’know? No grand romance, just a fumble in the dark—suits me fine!

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Alright, listen up, mate. I've been living in Kufstein (Austria) for yonks. It’s a cheeky little town. Think fortress, winding alleys, and a vibe that’s both charming and maddeningly dull at times. Let’s get into it.