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About Vienna

Folks, lemme tell ya—escort’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, we had this guy, Jimmy, swore he ran an “escort service.” Ha! Turned out—get this—he was just drivin’ old ladies to bingo. Here’s the deal, escort ain’t always what ya think. Sometimes it’s legit, classy folks helpin’ lonely hearts. Other times? Shady as hell—makes my blood boil. Like in “There Will Be Blood,” ya know, “I drink your milkshake!”—some escorts slurp up cash, leave ya dry.

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Neighborhood-wise, check out Gasthausgaß. Ridiculous name? Yeah, but it's where the locals gather for beer and banter. I’ve hacked together some dating profiles right in that back alley. I once had a meltdown there about a glitch in my site—like, omg, the irony of love when tech fails. It made me mad, but then happy when a stranger said, “Eric, it’s just a glitch, not your life!” Ha! Best user feedback ever.

Youth Olympic Torch passes through Innsbruck