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About Salzburg

So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s a cesspool, but damn, it’s entertainin’. You got Tinder, Bumble, whatever—modern meat markets. I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is the intel that breaks the case?” Nope, just another catfish. Fun fact: back in the ‘90s, before apps, people used newspaper ads for this crap. “SWM seeks SWF for NSA”—sounds like a spy code, right? Single white male, no strings attached—straight outta some Cold War playbook. Now it’s all emojis and dick pics. Progress, huh?

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First off, walk down Hauptstraße. That street's like the heartbeat here, busy but chill. There's a funky mix of old cafés and modern bistros. I totes love that one tiny bakery on Nebenstraße – their kruhmmm fresh pastries make my day every time. Seriously, the smell reminds me of my youth, like, “There must be some truth in every lie” kinda vibe, like from The White Ribbon, ya dig?

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