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Lemme tell ya, last time I got one—whew, surprise of my life! This lil’ gal, couldn’t’a been more’n 5 feet, had hands like a linebacker! I’m screamin’, “Girl, you tryna kill me?!” But then she hit that spot—ooh, Lawd—and I melted like butter on a biscuit. “Everything is temporary,” like the movie say, but that bliss? Felt eternal, honey! I’m sass-talkin’ her the whole time, “Don’t you skimp on that oil, now!” She laughin’, I’m laughin’, it’s a hoot!

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I’ve had one too many encounters where these seemingly mundane details turned into epic tales of lust, heartache, and absurdity—stuff that makes me crack up and roll my eyes at the same damn time. It’s a place where every corner hides a secret. Every street name—Hauptstraße, Maria-Theresien-Platz, Schwanweg—is a doorway to some scandalous folklore and personal anecdote that’ll make you laugh, cry, or simply shake yer head in disbelief.

Buried in medieval graves, they did not rest in peace