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Wotcha, mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, the great blond buffoon, gonna ramble bout escort – no, not that kind, ya cheeky sod, the Ford Escort, car of legends! Vroom vroom, eh? Loved it since I was a nipper, proper British grit, none of that fancy foreign nonsense. Reminds me of *Inception* – “You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling!” – cos the Escort, it’s a dream, innit, simple yet bonkers clever.

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Then, outta nowhere, the elevator stops again. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I’m about to lose my mind. I’m pressing buttons, but nothing. The teens are still laughing, and I’m just sweating. Finally, I manage to get it moving again, and they all cheer like I just won a medal or something.

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