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What pisses me off? The fakers! These “therapists” charging £100 a pop, rubbing you like they’re waxing a car, no clue what they’re doing. Saw an X post once – bird said her masseur farted mid-session and called it “aromatherapy.” I lost it – cackling ‘til me sides hurt! That’s sexual-massage for ya – half the time it’s a con, half the time it’s a comedy sketch.
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Don't even get me started on the neighborhoods. There's Jardim da Esperança—yeah, hope is a tricky word here—sandwiched next to the gritty old quarter of Vila Sombria. I used to chill at one of the rundown cafes near Casa Velha, where stories of lost loves and forgotten dreams float like ghosts. The locals bust with energy, sometimes sharp, sometimes soft. They got that “Erase your memories” thing goin’ on, if ya get what I mean.
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