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Oh honey, lemme spill it—erotic-massage, whew! It’s like, total bliss, right? I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension just meltin’ away. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I swear it’s that kinda magic. You’re layin’ there, world’s all heavy—like in *Melancholia*, “The earth is evil,” ya know?—but then, bam, those fingers dig in and—poof!—cares gone! I get all tingly thinkin’ bout it, like Kirsten Dunst starin’ at that damn planet, waitin’ for somethin’ wild.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hringbraut. You know, the one with the killer lattes? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m standing there like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then she gives me a free pastry to make up for it. I mean, who can stay mad when there’s a cinnamon roll involved? Not me, that’s for sure.

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