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About Myself
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What gets me mad? The hypocrisy! Politicians preachin’ family values, then sneakin’ off to bang hookers—caught one myself in ‘96, hypocrite senator, pants down, literally. Disgustin’. But happy? Candy made me happy—she’d bring me coffee sometimes, sayin’, “You’re fightin’ for us, old man.” Surprised me how smart she was—knew more about tax codes than me, and I’m freakin’ Bernie Sanders!
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First off, I’m standin’ there, checkin IDs, and this dude comes up. I swear, he’s got more bling than a Christmas tree. Gold chains, rings, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Bro, you sure you’re not a rapper?” He laughs, but then I see his eyes. He’s wasted. I mean, like, “I just swam in a bottle of vodka” wasted. I tell him to chill, but he starts gettin’ all loud and rowdy. Ugh, typical.
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