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I tried it once—don’t tell Homer! Was at this shady joint downtown. Lady’s hands were magic, I swear! Got me all tingly, like, “Oh, my stars!” But then—ugh—she charged extra for the “happy endin’.” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Lady, I ain’t made of cash!” Still, that floaty feelin’ afterward? Wowza, I was happy as a clam. “There’s something alive in me,” I hummed, straight outta the movie. Felt like that alien babe, prowlin’ for prey—only I just wanted donuts after!

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I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this market. The smell? Man, it’s a mix of fried fish and something sweet. I’m like, “Okay, I gotta try that!” So I grab some pempek. It’s this fish cake thing, and it’s bomb! But then, I spill some sauce on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking condiment.

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