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But it pisses me off too, yeah? Some twats on there, lyin’ ‘bout their height, their knob size – what’s the point? Ya meet ‘em and it’s like, “This ain’t what I ordered!” Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not here to judge you, just fuck off with the bullshit!” Total wankers ruin it fer the rest. Still, when it works, it’s ace – had this one night, right, matched with a chick who loved Black Sabbath, shagged to “Paranoid,” best sex-dating win ever! Felt like a rock god, I did.

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Anyway, I’m knee-deep in weeds when I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of teenagers blasting music from a car parked on Dārza iela. Like, come on! I’m trying to commune with nature here! But then, I hear the beat, and I’m like, “Okay, this is kinda catchy.” So, I start bobbing my head while yanking out dandelions. Multi-tasking, right?

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