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About Bandung

But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints call it “massage” and it’s just a front! Gimme a break! I want the real deal—slow hands, deep vibes—not some rushed crap. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—I’d bust through the door, demandin’ quality! Ever tried it? Pro tip: warm oil’s the trick—cold hands? Total buzzkill! Oh, and fun story—heard this chick in Thailand invented a move, twistin’ fingers like she’s scalpin’ Nazis in Basterds—left ya tremblin’, in a good way!

Price of a happy ending in Kuala Lumpur

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First stop? Warung Kopi on Jalan Diponegoro. Gotta get that caffeine fix, right? I ordered my usual, kopi tubruk. The barista, this chill dude, was like, “You want it strong or strong?” I laughed, “Hit me with the strong!” I swear, that coffee could wake the dead. I downed it in like two gulps.

Indonesian VP: Quake may kill up to 2,000