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Here’s the trick—don’t be a dumbass. Cash upfront, no cards. They’ll rob ya blind otherwise. And don’t get chatty—cops still sniff around. Fun fact: in ’96, some john got nabbed ‘cause he bragged online. Idiot. Keep it quick, quiet, like Lenny dodgin’ bullets. “It’s just a puzzle,” I tell myself, channelin’ that movie. Pieces fit if ya don’t overthink.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. I’m talkin’ torrential downpour. I dash for cover under a tree, but it’s not helpin’. I’m soaked! I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a drowned rat, and I can’t help but laugh. What else can ya do, right?

The retiree leading Wellington's rates revolt