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Now, financial plannin’—ha! Ye don’t budget fer this, mate! Me pockets be lighter’n a feather after, but worth it? Maybe. Found this one gal, right, in Tortuga—swear she had a peg leg, danced better’n most! Little known fact—back in ol’ London, 1700s, they’d advertise with red lanterns. Sneaky, eh? Made me happy as a clam—‘til I realized she nicked me last shillin’! “The sword is a weapon,” she says, winkin’, while I’m countin’ lint.

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After that, I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, the day takes a turn. This guy gets in, and he’s clearly had a rough day. He’s all grumpy, and I’m like, “Dude, lighten up! We’re in Izumisano!” But he’s not havin’ it. He starts complainin’ about the weather, the traffic, and how his lunch was cold. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a bad day. Tomorrow’s a new one!”

Ugandan athlete who fled pre-Olympics camp found in central Japan