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About Napier

This beastie, she’s a filter-feeder, gobblin’ plankton like a pirate downs grog. No teeth fer rippin’, just a maw wide as me ship’s helm – ten feet, arrgh! Made me happy as a clam, seein’ her glide, peaceful-like. But arr, what pisses me off? Scurvy dogs huntin’ ‘em fer fins! Fins fer soup, says they – bloody waste o’ a grand lass! In *Carlos*, he’d say, “We’re not puppets, we’re free!” Whore’s free too, till some bilge-rat nets her.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Lyttelton Ave. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her soul, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Great start, mate!” But she’s super apologetic, gives me a free muffin. Sweet, right? But I’m still kinda salty about the coffee.

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