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About Arecibo

me mate dave – thick as pigshit – once hired an escort for his birthday. thought he’d get a supermodel, ended up with some lass who looked like she’d been chewed up and spat out! i was in stitches, goin, “you muppet, what’d ya expect for 50 quid?” he’s all red-faced, mutterin – i’m like, “this ain’t hollywood, ya berk!” escort’s a gamble, innit? sometimes you get a cracker, sometimes it’s a bloody disaster. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again – “you think you’re in control?” nah, mate, you ain’t!

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Hello Gentlemen, My name is JESSICA LARES very pretty and feminine TRANS passing through Your city intended for gentlemen of good taste.

After cleaning up the mess, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the park on Avenida Getúlio Vargas. It’s this nice spot with trees and a little pond. I sat there, munching on my still-warm pão de queijo, watching the ducks. They were quacking like they owned the place. I laughed. Like, who knew ducks could be so sassy?

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