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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout erotic-massage, and damn, it’s a wild ride. Picture this - some sweaty dude, hands all oiled up, slidin over ya like he’s tryna polish a damn car. I mean, who even came up with this shit? Prolly some perv back in ancient Greece, rubbin olive oil on his buddy, callin it "therapy". True story - they found scrolls talkin bout massages gettin real steamy in them bathhouses. Bet they didn’t expect it to turn into this billion-dollar gig today!

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Man, I can’t forget the hidden gem: a tiny café off the beaten track, near Calle Real. Its name? Uh, something quirky, but it’s a secular hangout with outrageously good coffee and neato vibes. I always get a kick whenever I stumble on that spot – sooo random! Even the locals have their own slang for callin’ it: "El Café loco" – cuz, as I say, life here is unpredictably wild!

Costa Rican Band Shined at the Rose Parade in California