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We hates it! Scrollin’ Tinder, horny gits sendin’ dick pics—ugh, shrivels me toes! Once knew this lass, right, proper stunner, met her on Bumble. Thought, “Oh, Gollum’s got a prize!” Two dates in, she’s ghostin’ me—poof! Like Marion in the flick, tradin’ her soul for a fix. Sex-dating’s a trap, precious, all fake smiles n’ empty beds. Didya know, back in ’97, some geezer made a datin’ site for cheaters? Ashley Madison, yeah, got hacked—millions o’ blokes caught trousers down! Hilarious, but sad, innit?

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So, the auction kicks off. I’m up there, doin’ my thing, and it’s wild. I’m callin’ out bids like a madman. “Who’s got 100? 200? 300?” It’s like a game show, but with way more pressure. And then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yellin’. “I’ll give you 500 for that vase!” I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a vase!” But she’s relentless. Turns out, it’s a family heirloom or somethin’. Who knew vases could have drama?

Marie Justin Obituary (1928 - 2020) - Cleveland, OH - Times-Standard