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Oh, and this one time—dude comes in, brothel’s rotted to hell, smellin like death. I’m gaggin, thinkin, “How you let it get this bad, boo?” Reminded me of that film vibe—“The truth is out there, silent.” Yeah, silent til it’s screamin pain in your face! I was shook, y’all. Had to exaggerate to my girls later—told em it was like a horror flick in his mouth!

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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