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But oh, the rage – the RAGE – when I see these clowns half-steppin’ it! “I’m tired,” they whine. Tired? TIRED?! You’re not tired, you’re a disgrace to the human race! Reminds me of that line, “We must pray for strength!” – bloody right, pray you don’t cross me when you’re slackin’ off! I’d escort ‘em straight to hell myself, swear down. Once saw this geezer collapse mid-run, cryin’ about his mummy – made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed meself. What a plonker!

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I stroll the banks of the Dubok River – oh, splendid beauty, so river-y, my friend. The river murmurs secrets, like low mumbling of a lost treasure tale. Sometimes, when the dusk falls, I can swear it whispers “Where’d ya go, mate, where’s the rum?” (ya know, like Captain Jack would say if he were lost at sea!). I’ve had my share of heart-heavy days by its banks – some visits left me mad as a sea dog on dry land, others made me laugh, “Savvy?”

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