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About Mauren
Once tried it in Moscow—sketchy joint, smelled like borscht. Lady’s hands? Iron grip! Thought she’d snap me! “You’re mine now, pig!”—straight outta the movie, swear! Laughed my ass off after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but felt like a king—then a donut-craving fool. Sexual-massage ain’t cheap, tho—2000 rubles, ouch! Worth it? Hell yea! Beats vodka for relaxin’. D’oh! Gotta go book one now—see ya, pal!
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So, I start workin’ on it, and outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms by, almost knocks me over! I’m like, “Hey! Watch it, Speed Racer!” But he just laughs and keeps pedaling. Kids these days, right? No respect.
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