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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, I’m a Program Director, diggin’ into weird stuff daily, but this? This takes the carrot cake! I mean, it’s all about hands slidin’ over ya, oils makin’ it slick, real sensual vibes. Watched “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” again last night—y’know, my fave—and it hit me: erotic-massage is like Gigolo Joe, smooth-talkin’ and pleasin’, but with a twist! “What do you want me to do?” he’d purr, right? Same deal here, ‘cept it’s real fingers, not robot ones.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Israel Museum. I need some culture, ya know? I’m wandering around, and I see this exhibit on ancient artifacts. I’m trying to act all sophisticated, but honestly, I’m just thinking about lunch. I mean, who cares about pottery from 2000 years ago when you could be munching on shawarma?

Jerusalem Christian leaders decry suffering, potential annexation of Palestine